Alone in the wilderness

I guess the most difficult part in a person`s life is to be alone. Though some can live by it probably because of chosen vocation, but in all honesty, being alone can be one of the saddest moment of your life.

Now, there are many reason for being in that state of wilderness, probably, wrong decision, bad action can be one, lack of socialization skill can also be a good point, or just plainly you dont belong.

We all have our own place at the beginning of life, we all belong to a so called social environment where we belong and ought to grow and mature. But i just realized, that no matter how pleasing that environment maybe, you cannot avoid life`s reality, and it can come in 2 points, good reality and not so good reality.

We make decisions every single day of our life, and for me, those decision dictates or affects our growing years. I have a bunch of those, and i tell you, it did change my life, higher percentage is very challenging, but the little percentage of gain somehow have made me survive my day to day life.

I am literally in the wilderness, the feeling of not being wanted, the feeling of not belonging to anything, the feeling of being cast out and not accepted, the feeling of being judge, accused and doubted. What a life i would say.

Maybe, you will ask me, how do you survive? honestly, i dont know, i just go by the day praying that one day i can make a good decision in life. I dont expect the applause, or the fame for that matter, at my age and life experience, i have seen already the real essence and value of happiness. The young, happy, worry free, and conquer the world mentality is all gone. It is the simple, discreet, slow, and mellow me that i have become.

People will judge, will question, will dictate, will suggest, will insist, but, hey, go ahead, i dont care at all. At the end, it is those who truly value you despite of that matters already.

It is still a great life after all...